Somehow Wrong
by Beyondthunder
Summary: Skate angstromance, taking place in LA. Come in to read more!
1. He says he needs time

_This is a Lost fic taking place in LA; the island thing never happened and the past of characters has been changed to suit this very situation. Nevertheless, the characters have kept their personality and the particular kind of relations they have on the island remains in New York._

_So this is a Skate romance/angst fiction__, beginning right now..._

-Leave me alone!!!

The dark-haired woman, clearly very angry, was yelling at the man standing in front of her. He didn't even blink, just kept staring at her and tried to explain:

-Baby, please, if we just...

-Don't you dare talking to me like that!! she shouted. I thought you and me... you've been tellin' me for two months that our relation was more than the kind you used to have!!

Her voice broke as she let out the first tear, the one she couldn't hold back anymore. The man took the opportunity to justify himself:

-It ain't who I am, I ain't ready...

-It's always about you, asshole!! Don't you think about me? Weren't we two, last night? Are you the only one that matters?! she yelled, tears now streaming down her freckled cheeks.

-I just need more time to get used to this, I need more time...

-You need more time to fuck more bitches! Get outta here! GET OUTTA HERE!!

He gave her a last hurt look and then turned around, leaving the flat without a word. Kate fell on her knees, crying for rage and sadness.

-SON OF BITCH!!! she yelled, crushing her fist on the floor.

She didn't even feel the pain; she rose up and smashed her fist again on the pane, making it whole shatter.

Sawyer was just in the street when he heard the big noise; he looked up dreading what he was about to see, and he saw: the pane of a flat of the third floor's had just shattered. Dreading even more, he turned back to the skyscraper and ran up the stairs, praying anyone ( because he didn't believe in any god) for she hadn't done any bullshit.

When he burst in, she was lying on the floor, her right hand covered of blood and broken glass, her amazing green eyes shining with tears, her beautiful mouth full of insults fading away.

He took her in his arms, without a word.

-Let go of me, she whispered burying her head in his shirt.

-Later, he whispered back, walking carefully down the stairs.

She never fainted during the trip but the next thing she was aware of was the terrifying white, clean, busy waiting room of an hospital. She was still in Sawyer's arms, and as she was about to snuggle up against his warm body, she suddenly realised what had just happened.

-Let go of me, you bastard!! she shouted, moving away from the man.

This surprised him and he didn't have time to hold her back; she brutally fell down on the floor.

What followed was confused to her but she soon heard a voice different from Sawyer's, a deep, man voice.

-I'll take care of her. Go away please.

She felt herself in some other arms, she didn't open her hurt eyes, till she became aware of sitting on a bed. She sighed and blinked.

There was a man knelt in front of her. A dark-haired man with a two-days beard, the kind of man that works too much because he's afraid of living, too late at night because he's afraid of sleeping.

-You're OK miss? he asked.

-No, I don't feel... no, I'm not OK. Not at all. Is he gone?

-Who?

-Sawyer. The one who brought me here.

-Oh... yes. He's gone.

He stood up and picked some bottles on the shelves, then sat down next to her and began healing her hand, never stopping talking to her.

-Who is he? Sawyer?

-Oh, he is... was my... he's the...

-He's your man.

-He was. We've just... well we slept together last night and now we ain't together. He says he ain't ready.

The doctor nodded.

-Maybe that's right. But wait... he's not... he didn't do that to you, right?

-No, of course not. It ain't him, it's... me.

He sighed deeply, then put carefully his hand on her shoulder and asked:

-What's your name?

-Kate.

-All right Kate, I'm Jack. You know, it can't be end up like that with you and Sawyer, I'm sure he's honest with you, he just needs time... Anyway, you mustn't do that kinda things to yourself, never. I know what it feels like; it hurts too much in your head, in your mind, so you just transfer it to somewhere else, to your body, your arm, so that you can see that wound, feel that wound. But I don't want you to do that because of a man, never.

She stared at him for a long time, detailing him. He was somehow the more understanding man she'd ever seen, and it was both a quality and a default; he could understand you perfectly, but you couldn't hide anything from him.

-It wasn't only because of him, I guess, she eventually explained.

I think I've been on the edge for a long time now and I just needed a reason to fall; Sawyer gave me a quite good reason.

She got on her feet and added:

-I'd like to go home.

Jack nodded.

-Sure. Let me show you the...

-It's OK, I'll find my way, she said a bit too coldly. Thanks a lot, doctor... Jack.

Five minutes later, she was disappearing in the night, leaving behind her a quite stunned doctor just realising she hadn't even given her full name.

-What is she running away from... he whispered for himself.

Then he took a look at his watch: 9PM. For the first time in several months, he wanted to get back home before midnight.


	2. Nasty Night

Sawyer was walking along the streets, passing off the bars he used to stop at normally ; but he wasn't in a mood to drink. Or actually he was in a very good mood to drink, too good to even have a glass of scotch, and God knew he needed that glass.

He felt angry for what had happened to Kate; he couldn't blame anyone but himself for what she felt and it was driving him mad. He wouldn't do her any harm, never, but the situation felt somehow wrong to him. In some way, he had been wanting her for so long that having her had broken the dream.

-That night was perfect, he muttered for himself. Why can't you just leave your goddamn shitty life and be with her?

That was the point; his goddamn shitty life sucked, he knew it, but it was freedom. And he wasn't ready to lose a little bit of this precious freedom his life was made of.

He was passing by the sixth bar of the night when he stopped. One glass, only one. Scotch could do nothing but good to him. Lighting a cigarette, he entered the bar.

It was about 11PM and Kate was sitting in a bar, emptying glasses of tequila one by one. She would stay there till the sunrise, or till she has nothing more to pay. She felt somehow wrong in this place, burying her problems into alcohol; but she knew if she got back home, she would drown them into her tears and end up in the morning wanting to kill herself. Not the best way.

-Tequila's too harsh for a beautiful woman like you; let me pay you a martini.

She turned her head and saw the man who had just talked to her; he looked a bit like James Bond, a charming, nice, elegant man but whose only will is to get you in his bed.

-I'd be glad to accept, she replied smiling.

-Great!

Twenty minutes later she was completely drunk, lying in his arms and smiling to every word he said. They had moved to some less populated place in the bar, where fat old odd men were sleeping on the tables, blind drunks.

He was whispering words in her ear, words she couldn't even understand but which sounded sweet to her, too sweet; she felt his lips madding their way along her neck till they reach her mouth; she felt his hands travelling across her breasts down to her belt; and suddenly she realised. Realised that he was going to take her right there.

His hands were hot but felt so cold against her skin; his tongue was sweet but felt so harsh against her lips; his arms were strong and she felt so weak, so helpless. She tried to push him away but all she managed to do was moving his mouth away from hers; she screamed as loud as she could.

He smashed her against the wall and shut her up with another hard kiss. She felt like he was taking her energy away with this kiss. She was praying her soul out to faint and not wake up when felt the pressure on her body release. She slipped silently against the wall, watching Sawyer beat the man. Blood was gushing out on the floor because the man was now lying there with Sawyer still kicking him; he only stopped when his victim fell unconscious. Then he turned back to Kate.

She was lying against the wall, tears wetting her face, hands shaking. He approached, raised her in his arms; she didn't say anything, he took her out of the bar.

-Where you following me? she murmured once they were outside.

-No, he replied. 'Was about to have a drink when I heard you scream.

-Can you... can you put me down please? she asked.

He obeyed silently, but once she was on her feet, her legs were shaking so much she almost fell down. She grabbed his hand.

-Bring me home.

He nodded and they started walking. Passing by the police station, Kate thanked the someone-up-there because all the lights were turned off. Sawyer tore a "wanted Kate Austen" paper away and put it in his pocket.

-For my fire, he smirked.

She returned a weak smile. The stars led them to her flat, Sawyer led her to the sofa before disappearing into the night he came from; he knew tomorrow she would be mad at him again, so as walking along the streets he tried to remember the sweet feeling of her hand in his.

Around midnight, Jack was about to leave the hospital – finally – when an unconscious man in quite a bad state arrived at the urgencies. Sighing, he took a look at his patient: blood all over his face and shirt, nose broken...

-A fight in a bar, commented a nurse. The other one wasn't drunk apparently, that must explain why this one is in such a bad state.

Jack nodded and then bent over his patient.

-You're a fucking asshole, man, he whispered. Next time be sure you fight with someone as drunk as you are.

The nurse gave him a shocked, dizzy look. Since when did the brilliant doctor Shepard speak to his fainted patients? And since when did he insult them?

-Let's go, he said.

Kate fell asleep in the meantime, lying drunk and whole dressed on her sofa.

Jack fell asleep around 2AM, when he finally got home.

Sawyer didn't fell asleep.


	3. Lonely

Kate woke up on the sofa with a terrible headache. Wincing in pain, she noticed with a sorry look that she had fallen asleep full dressed, and then even more sorry that it was 3PM.

-What the hell... she sighed, getting on her feet.

It seemed to her the world was spinning around as she walked to kitchen, where she made a black coffee with an aspirin. Lying her back against the wall, she sighed again. She was feeling like another girl; it just wasn't like her to drink all night long, almost get raped to be saved by her ex-boyfriend, end up on her sofa and wake up at 3PM... it wasn't her. She wasn't the kind of person to spend her nights at parties and get home blind drunk.

Sitting back on the sofa, holding her painful head in one hand, she grabbed the remote control with the other one and turned on the TV. Immediately her face appeared, someone off screen commenting:

"This woman is a very dangerous criminal, pursued for the murder of her stepfather and several armed robberies. She would currently be hiding in Los Angeles, California. If you can give us any information, please call the police station of your neighbourhood. Thank you for your cooperation."

She abruptly turned off the TV and threw the remote control away.

-They're lying, she whispered, I'm not like that... I'm not a dangerous criminal...

The phone ringing made her jump; she didn't make a move to pick up. Four times, five; the answering machine woke up. It was Sawyer's voice.

-Baby I know you're home. C'mon, just pick up tha' goddamn phone. I know you're mad at me, but we can fix tha' up! Kate please...

-Yeah.

Kate had made her way to the phone and had just picked it up.

-Kate? You OK? (his voice had suddenly changed)

-Yeah.

-D'you... D'you remember what happened last night?

-Yeah.

-D'you...

-Look Sawyer, she interrupted, I don't wanna talk to you. Last night doesn't change anything to the fact that you lied to me two months long just to get me into your bed and then you left me stranded!

-Oh I'm the one that's lyin'? Tha' what you sayin'? Cuz maybe you just forgot to tell me you killed your stepfather?! he shouted.

She almost burst out in tears at these words; he knew, he knew everything.

-That's none of your business! she sobbed.

-Fine then I'll just leave ya alone!

-Fine!

-FINE!

She brutally hung up the phone, tears running down her cheeks.

She suddenly felt the desire to lie here on the floor and die silently, quietly, to find some peace. She had almost forgotten how it felt like to walk along the streets without fear, to settle in a place she could call home and find peace in this place, to fall in love with a man and know she would spend the rest of her days with him. She wanted to be this little girl again, when everything was right, when she lived with her mother and father, when she could run bare feet in the grass and cry when she fell down. Now she felt like there were no tears left in her eyes. She felt lonely.

Did she have friends? Did she have family? Nobody, there was nobody except Sawyer, nobody she could call, nobody she trusted, even just a little bit would have been enough; but there was nobody.

Actually there was someone. There was this guy at the hospital, this Jack. He'd seemed to be a good man. It was a stupid idea, of course. What would she do? Come at the hospital, find him and act like she'd known him for years? Stupid. But the more she thought about it, the less it seemed stupid to her. Why not? After all, it's what does a doctor to heal people, and she needed to be healed a little.

Twenty minutes later she was asking for a doctor called Jack at the hospital. Fortunately, Jack Shepard was quite known around there. The woman showed Kate his office, where he was supposed to be having his break.

She knocked at the door.

-Come in, sighed a tired voice inside.

When she came in, Jack jumped out of his chair.

-Hi, she said shyly.

-Hi... Kate. Is there any problem? With Sawyer? he asked, very concerned.

-No, she replied. Actually yes, but I don't wanna talk about it. I just needed... company.

-Oh, said he a little stunned. Have a seat.

He offered her some coffee, which she refused, and they went back to look at each other in silence, Jack realising how beautiful she was when she suddenly started to explain:

-Look... Jack, I'm not here to seduce you or something, nor to enter in your life like that, I don't wanna disturb you. But you know I felt lonely and I didn't have anyone... so I thought to you.

Jack was quite confused.

-Oh... OK. You know, my break's over by now, I've to go but... I give you my phone number all right? You call me later and we can talk about everything.

-All right.

He quickly wrote his number on a piece of paper and, handing it to her, he added:

-By the way, my full name's Jack Shepard.

-Kate... Moss.

Completely stupid, she thought when she saw him a little puzzled. She'd just taken the name of the world-known model, but it was the first thing that had come to her mind. After all, there wasn't only one Kate Moss in the US!

-See you, he waved her leaving his office.

Back to her flat, she felt somehow a little better; but walking along the empty rooms she realised something: she was sick of leaving alone with her dark thoughts. She needed someone to be there, just to eat with her, to lie on the sofa with her watching some stupid program on TV, to make an awful coffee and make her laugh...

Thinking about it, she grabbed the dye on the table and headed to the bathroom; there was one thing more important at that very moment: not getting caught.

Once her hair dyed blond, she began to look for that big sunglasses Sawyer had offered her one day; they looked quite ugly but would be very useful. Then she went to take some money in the little box she used to keep it in, but a bad surprise was waiting for her: the box was almost empty.

-Oh... God.

Another problem. A big one. Where was she going to find this money? She didn't need so much, but she couldn't work and she refused to con.

Deep sighing, she put on her sunglasses.

She knocked at the door and instantly heard a man's voice swearing inside.

-What the hell...

Sawyer froze when he saw Kate standing at his door.

-What ya want? he growled.

She looked down.

-Sorry I didn't tell you, she murmured.

He growled again before he allows her to enter; he knew she probably had something to ask him.

-What you want? he repeated more softly, closing the door.

-I... she hesitated, I need... money.

She looked up at him. She saw he was shared between anger and something else... longing? She felt exactly the same.

-I shouldn't have come, she said walking to the door.

-Kate wait!

He grabbed her arm, she freed it, she got out and called the elevator. She was inside with the doors about to close when Sawyer burst in. She opened her mouth to say something but he slammed her against the back wall and shut her up with a burning kiss. She didn't even try to push him away; she grabbed his shirt and snuggled up harder against his body.

Never stopping kissing her, he walked backwards and his hand blindly looked for the "urgent stop" button, which he switched on. Kate smiled against his lips.

-We have plenty of time now baby, he whispered.

They were sitting on the elevator ground, Sawyer buttoning his shirt and Kate putting her shoes on. Turning his head to look at her, he saw a tear rolling down her cheek; he placed a hand under her chin and whispered:

-What's wrong?

She rose her shining green eyes to him.

-I love you.

Somehow he understood why such a beautiful feeling was making her so sad; he'd felt exactly the same when he'd first met her. He took her in his arms; she grabbed his neck and buried her head in his shoulder.

He murmured to her ear:

-Baby, I'm gonna take you to my bed and make love to you a hundred times, till we both die from lovin too much...

Raising her in his arms, he switched off the button and got out of the elevator, followed by the stunned gazes of his next-door neighbours.


	4. Keep Breathing

Chapter 4 : "Keep Breathing"

-"I gotta go work", Sawyer muttered.

Kate sighed and detailed him once again. He was standing in the middle of his room, his blond hair still wet from the shower he'd just had, his jeans in one hand his cellular in the other, only wearing boxers and an unbuttoned shirt. She bit her bottom lip, clearly thinking "Awww he's so sexy...".

The cell's ring interrupted her thoughts. She watched Sawyer putting his jeans on and trying to button his shirt while he was answering the phone.

-"Nope, there ain't no problem." He said on the phone. "'Course I can do it!... Don' worry, I'm on... FUCKIN' BUTTONS!!" he suddenly shouted.

Kate burst out in laugh and got up to help him.

-"Yeah, fine," he continued, thanking her by a smile. "I'm on my way."

And he hang up. He stared at her.

-"I'm leavin. Some big story. Can't tell ya, but I be soon back. Don' worry."

She didn't like these small sentences which didn't explain anything about what he was about to do.

-"And if I say you can't go," she began, " you don't give a damn, right?"

-"Right," he sighed.

He stole a small kiss from her lips before he leaves his flat, leaving her too just like he was five minutes ago, standing in underwear in the middle of in his room.

She took all her time to have a shower and once she was dressed, curiosity slowly started to raise up. Sawyer was so secret to her she couldn't help but look for anything that would reveal a little bit of him.

She started by the drawers and wasn't disappointed: she discovered a gun in the last one. She didn't dare to touch it, just stared, stunned. Who was he really?

Somehow she didn't know him at all. He'd always pretended to be some kind of lawyer and she'd always known he was everything but a lawyer. Actually she wasn't scared at all, maybe a little upset because he'd lied to her; but not too much because she knew men and men are used to lying. Besides, she'd lied too.

But what she knew of him was enough for the moment: she knew he was named Sawyer ( no need to know his last name, no?), she knew he was about 35, very sexy, somehow very like her (not for the sexy thing but for the i-don't-belong-nowhere thing), living in a small rent flat in downtown LA.

Kate sighed deeply when she realised how messy was the room after their hot night: clothes were scattered all over the room, the sheets were on the floor, and everything that had been on the table was now on the floor too, because Sawyer had taken her there too; actually he'd taken her almost everywhere in the flat. In one single night.

She made herself some food with what remained in the fridge – quite nothing. She sat on the couch and grabbed the gun. His gun. Wondering if he'd ever killed someone. If he knew what it felt like to have just stolen a life. In fact, you can share people in two groups: those who give life and save life, and those who take life. She wondered which group Sawyer belonged to.

Deeply lost in her thoughts, she didn't see the hours passing until the door was brokenly knocked open. She jumped up, still holding the gun, and instinctively pointed it at the two men who'd just come in. The first one gazed at her, half-startled half-worried; the second one was bent double, hardly breathing, leaving blood marks on the floor. He looked up in pain. Kate dropped the gun in surprise. It was Sawyer.

Then everything unfolded very quickly. The man carried Sawyer to the couch and lied him there; then he tore up his shirt and Kate held back a scream. Just like his face, his torso was covered of blood.

-"What... what..." she tried to say, words barely escaping from her mouth, "what the heck happened?"

The man saw she was about to burst out in sobs so he tried to speak calmly, but his hands were shaking.

-"He was working. Driving to my place I bet. I heard a gunshot and he had a car accident. I dunno what exactly happened but he's lucky I was nearby, otherwise he'd have been taken to the hospital."

-"You mean..." she stammered, afraid to understand, "you mean he can't go the hospital?"

-"No," he replied, his hands shaking more than ever. "Wounds by bullet are automatically signalled to the police. He'll go to jail."

She was stunned. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't think. "Gunshot. Car accident. Jail." She was about to panic, to faint, to scream, to cry. React. Do something.

-"Have you ever extracted a bullet?" the man whispered.

-"No!" she exploded. "I've never ever extracted anything! I don't known nothing about healing him OK? Not me nor you are surgeons so we don't even consider the possibility of maybe doing it ourselves! Got it?"

The man frowned. Maybe he was tense and ready to see his friend die, but he wasn't ready to be yelled at by a woman.

-"OK then. Whatever you wan' do, do it yourself, I'm leaving. But be warned: if he dies before his job is completed, you'll have the troubles."

-"I ain't give a damn of his job!!" she screamed, but the man was gone. She was alone with a groaning, barely breathing Sawyer. She took his hand in hers.

-"You gotta live baby. For me." She knew he couldn't understand what she said but she kept speaking, like if she kept hoping, his heart would keep beating. "You gonna live. Fight. You gonna make it. Nothing on earth can kill you."

It was such a cliché, such a blind hope. She couldn't pretend to believe he'd breathe forever with a bullet in the stomach and several deep cuts all over his face and torso. He'd lost a lot of blood. He needed nothing but a doctor.

Suddenly it hit her. She reached for the jeans she was wearing the day before and found the paper into her pocket. Jack Shepard. His phone number was right there. And it was now 9PM. He must have left the hospital. She grabbed the phone.

One ring. Two rings.

"Please answer."

Three rings.

-"Hello."

Thank God. But he sounded tired. Maybe he wouldn't remember her. Sawyer coughed and moaned in pain. Kate gathered her strength.

-"It's Kate Moss. You remember me? We met yesterday at the hospital."

-"Oh... Oh yeah! Kate! How are you?"

-"Could you come here?" she asked abruptly.

-"What? Yeah sure but... is everything OK?"

-"No." She was about to cry. If she told him Sawyer was somehow a criminal, he wouldn't come. "He's not OK at all. He's dying. Please, come here..."

-"I'm on my way."

She hoped he'd understood. She hoped he'd hurry. She hoped he'd save Sawyer. She hoped so much because she loved so much.

-"Kate..." raised his voice from the couch.

She hurried next to him. His eyes were closed and his breathing was slow, hard, wheezing.

-"Baby, breathe, please, keep breathing..." she begged, tears threatening again.

-"My name's... James," he whispered in one breath. But no other followed.

Sorry, I took a lot of time to update and that because I took a lot of time to write this, so I hope it's worth it... you tell me! Review please!


	5. Time

Chapter 5 : « Time »

-« Sawyer !!! » she shouted, an intense fear filling her. "Sawyer... James... please, breathe! Come on baby, breathe..."

She tried the mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, her tears mixing with his blood, but he didn't breathe. She fought to remain calm, but panic overwhelmed her.

-"Breathe!" she yelled, tears breaking her voice. She felt like drowning, like growing insane, like bleeding as much as him. She felt like the air was missing as she was choking with tears.

She was blind, she was deaf, overwhelmed by so many feelings as she still hopelessly tried to resuscitate him.

She felt two hands on her shoulders, pulling her back gently but firmly, she stepped back, she was in a fog, she sat against the nearest wall. She watched Jack resuscitating Sawyer without really understanding what he was doing. Tears were still streaming down her face, her breath was still messy, she was still covered of blood. His blood.

Sawyer coughed hard, several times, as he came back to life, and Jack sighed deeply in relief.

-"Don't speak," he told to his patient. "Don't fall asleep. Keep your eyes open. Everything's gonna be OK. Keep your eyes open."

Sawyer nodded slightly. Jack turned to Kate, and saw she was still crying. Even if he had to hurry, he took the time to kneel next to her.

-"He's alive, Kate, he's gonna live, I promise. Just tell me what happened."

-"You shouldn't make such a promise..."

-"Hey, look at me. I wouldn't make such a promise if I weren't able to hold it. Just tell me what happened."

Kate nodded.

-"He was shot at and then he had a car accident but... I dunno, I wasn't there... I don't know..."

-"OK, OK, that will do. Can you help me? Can you help me save him?"

She nodded again.

-"He has at least three ribs broken. Several deep cuts on the face and torso. The bullet is somewhere around the stomach but it doesn't seem to be touched. He's lucky the shooter was far away from his target; the bullet was slowed down."

-"So what do we do?" Kate asked. Her voice was slow, small, toneless.

-"We take the bullet out. Disinfect. Put a dressing on. Have him rest. And then we talk all this shit out."

She nodded without a word and grabbed the bottle of whiskey.

-"This is gonna hurt, James. You have to stay conscious," she whispered to his ear. "Stay conscious, OK?"

-"OK..." he murmured.

He was weak, so weak. He couldn't even drink by himself. This would the first time someone poured whiskey in his mouth as Kate was, holding his shoulders as firmly as she could. But he couldn't help but scream in pain when Jack went searching for the bullet inside the wound. Fortunately the surgeon found it quickly and took it out, because James was weakening and Kate was pale and shaking.

As he'd planned, Jack disinfected that wound and all the cuts, before he dresses the biggest ones. He didn't speak. He didn't show any sign of being moved by what he was doing.

-"OK Sawyer, or James, whatever. You're safe. You can sleep now. You can rest."

James closed his eyes. He looked pale, weak, vulnerable, but peaceful. And alive. He was alive.

Kate stepped back and let out a shaking sigh like she'd been holding her breath all along. Jack grabbed her forearm and led her to the other room.

-"But what the hell is going on in your head?!"

He was clearly pissed off; now he'd done his job, he let emotions come back and wasn't calm and gentle any longer. Kate looked down.

-"Don't you realise he was about to die right there in front of you?! He should have been taken to the hospital long ago!"

-"He can't," she muttered.

-"May I know why?" the surgeon asked as calmly as possible.

-"Because..." Kate hesitated. To tell the truth or not to tell the truth? That was the question. She decided to trust him, most because at that very instant she needed someone to trust. "Because wounds by bullet are automatically signalled to the police, and Sawyer's mustn't be signalled to the police."

-"Must I understand he's some kinda criminal?"

She nodded slightly.

-"Don't ask me details, I don't know anything. I learned this two hours ago. I didn't know," she said.

-"What about you?" Jack continued. "Why don't you react? Are you familiar with criminals? Don't you have any problem with living with one of them? Are you a criminal yourself?!"

He was almost shouting, and she was overwhelmed by so much questions, questions which touched her right.

-"Shut up," she murmured. "You don't have to know these things, they're none of your business."

-"Fine," he replied coldly. "My business is to heal Sawyer, and so will I. But when he is better, you can be sure I'll call the police. I don't want _your_ troubles to weigh on _my_ mind."

Jack kept his word. For the next days, he came each morning before going to work and each evening when he returned back. He was a bit cold with Kate, he didn't speak much, except to Sawyer to tell him he'll be soon on his feet. And Kate pondered a lot about him.

He had no ring. His cellphone never rang, even when he stayed there almost all night long. His behaviour wouldn't show any sign of belonging to a family; he sure was living alone.

But, unlike a lonely bachelor, he was always shaved, his shirt always ironed, his hair cut, his shoes clean. A bachelor usually didn't look like Jack.

Then what was Jack? Divorced. Widower. Gay. Kate smile at this thought; of course he wasn't gay. He would have been a shame for the gay community, with a the gazes he used to linger on Kate's body when he thought she didn't see him.

Where was he, by the way? Kate hadn't seen him since he'd said he went to the bathroom. Right when she thought about it he appeared in front of her and, once again, led her to the other room. This meant he had something to say.

-"Here's the deal," he said abruptly once he has closed the door. "You tell me who you are or I call the cops."

Kate couldn't believe her ears. She stared at him, stunned and suspicious.

-"Look," he continued, "I know you ain't what you pretend to be. I know you don't want me to call the cops, both for Sawyer and you. I just wanna know why. Sawyer told you his real name; I wanna know yours."

He sounded threatening to her. Suddenly she was a little bit afraid.

-"This is blackmail, you've no right! Leave me alone!"

This wasn't the right thing to say. Jack plunged his hand into his pocket and grabbed his phone. His gaze locked in hers, he composed the number on the keyboard.

"He won't do it," she repeated in her head, "he won't do it..."

-"Hello, Los Angeles police station here."

-"Dammit!!" shouted Kate.

Before he can say a word, she jumped on him and tried to snatch the cell from his hands. But he was strong and in two seconds he'd reversed the situation, Kate prisoner of his arms.

-"Let go of me!!" she yelled.

Jack had to make an effort to have her stay immobile.

-"Let go of her."

A whisper. Weak. Slight. Nothing, if there hadn't been that sound you can recognize as nothing but the loading of a gun. Jack slowly turned around, Kate still in his arms, but losing his control over the situation.

-"You should get back to rest," he advised gently.

-"You should let go of her right now," Sawyer advised back.

The surgeon opened his arms and Kate freed herself before throwing herself into Sawyer's embrace. Jack couldn't say a word because his patient knocked him out instantly, the gun hitting his head with a big noise. He collapsed in a groan and the cell crushed on the floor. A voice raised from it:

-"Sir? What's going on? Sir? _Come on, let's trace the call!_ Sir? Sir!"

Kate and Sawyer stared at it, horrified.

-"What have we done?" he whispered.

_That's it, another chapter ended! I think I've never updated so fast before, and all this just for you, so now you own me a reward... a lot of reviews please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

_T__hanks for reading_


	6. Highway to Hell

Chapter 6 : « Highway to Hell »

-"What have we done?"

Kate first pulled herself together and, picking up the phone, she hung up. But it was too late, they both knew it was too late. Soon they'll hear the sirens yelling outside, soon they'll be criminals again.

She turned to Sawyer. He looked pale, tired, hurt and definitely weak, even if he was trying not to show it. He was staring at Jack lying unconscious on the floor.

-"Oh fuck," he eventually said. "Fuck."

He left the room and reappeared within seconds, a rope in his hand. He hadn't spoken, and he didn't as he methodically tied up Jack's hands and feet; and suddenly Kate was afraid of him.

She was afraid because he looked so calm, because he'd threatened the surgeon to use his gun, because he was now tying him up, and simply because, in such a situation, not knowing what he was capable of was a lot more frightening than it had been a couple hours ago.

Once his task was over, he looked up to Kate.

-"We gotta leave," he just said.

-"We can't," she murmured.

She was staring at the window, and he followed her gaze; and what he saw petrified him.

Five blue police cars, all lights on and sirens yelling, were circling the building. Several cops had already gotten out of their cars and were shouting orders, gun in hand. Soon they heard footsteps in the stairs and finally a violent knock at the door.

-"Mr Shepard are you there? It's the police! Open the door!"

Kate closed her eyes, trying her soul out to wake up. This wasn't real, this was a nightmare, a film...

-"Police!! Open the door!"

No, there was no nightmare. They were in hell.

James grabbed Jack's shoulder and dragged his body in front of the door. There, he pressed the gun against the surgeon's temple and calmly said, louder enough for the cops behind the door to hear:

-"I advice you to stop knocking at this door or Mr Shepard could suffer because of it. Shut up and get back to where you come from."

Kate, looking deeply shocked, stepped forward and open her mouth but James instantly put his finger on her lips, nodding from left to right. She didn't speak.

They heard whispers from outside, and then footsteps again on the stairs. James relaxed and dropped the gun. He turned to Kate and what he saw in her eyes deeply hurt him; he saw disgust and fear.

-"So he's our hostage?" she said, her tone blaming him.

-"No," he murmured, "he's my hostage."

She looked puzzled at him.

-"They don't know you're here, so you ain't here. My threatens gave us a few time before they take a decision. They mustn't have deployed yet so you can run away, by the roof or something."

-"Don't even think about it," she replied firmly.

He abruptly grabbed her shoulders and slammed her against the wall.

-"Oh yes I think about it! I can't go nowhere hurt as I am, but you can and you will. I won't let you suffer because of my troubles."

-"Your troubles are my troubles James."

He violently kissed her will all the pain and desperation his heart was full of, with all the love and longing too. She pulled him closer and kissed him back like she would never let him go, and he could feel her tears on his lips.

-"I can't abandon you..." she sobbed when they separated, "I can't let anything happen to you..."

-"Baby I'll make it, I promise I'll be fine..."

-"Don't lie James, we're deadlocked. There's no way out."

-"There is one: you go and I surrender; they'll take me to the hospital and I'll find some way to escape! But please I want you to stay out of this. Your situation is far worse than mine and if you get caught they won't let you run again. Please Kate, trust me and go."

-"Never."

She joined her lips to his and he pressed her harder against the wall so that he could feel the smallest part of her body. He groaned to her mouth and she thought it was from pleasure, but then she felt it. She felt something cold against her skin, something that made her shiver. She abruptly pulled out and found her own shirt covered with blood.

James was panting, his hand covering his wound, pain marking his face; and suddenly Kate realised she had to run not for herself but for him. Because he would never surrender as long she'd be there, but he had to surrender otherwise he'd die from his wound.

-"Go," he murmured.

She could see he was fighting to remain on his feet, his legs shaking so much he had to lean against the wall.

-"I love you", she said, tears breaking her voice. "Don't you even dare to die."

-"Promise I won't," he weakly smiled. "I love you too baby."

She offered him one last gaze before she turns back and hurries to the bathroom. She knew there was a small window looking onto the next-door building; she knew she could reach that building and then disappear before the cops even notice she'd been there.

She was already on that other building when she heard several screams and a gunshot.

-"Don't you get closer or I kill him!!!"

This was James' voice. At this very instant, the reality hit her; she understood that he'd never been willing to surrender. He'd lied to have her run away. Tears of rage burned her eyes.

She heard two others gunshots and couldn't help but shout:

-"James!!!!!!!!"

There was an heavy silence and she didn't dare to interpret it.

-"Be careful, he's badly hurt."

This was Jack's voice; she deeply sighed in relief. James was surely alive, hurt but alive. He'd be taken to the hospital.

-"There was another girl with him. Dark hair, green eyes, some freckles, I'd say a little less than thirty. She said her name was Kate Moss," Jack informed the cops.

-"Hell. It must but Kate Austen. Come on, let's deploy! I want this girl at the police station in two hours!"

Suddenly Kate realised James wasn't the only one in danger; and she started to run.

_Hey! I had to ponder a lot to write this chapter and I'm quite proud of it (my favourite is the fifth one but...) so let me know what you think!!! Come on a little review, thaaaaaaaaaaaanks!!_


	7. Once The Mask Fallen

Chapter 7 : Once the mask fallen

Jack Shepard's head was just a big mess. It had been three days now and he couldn't see no difference in the state he currently was with the state he'd been while dealing with two criminals. He felt no relief. Actually, he felt like he was the bad guy in this story for he'd separated two lovers, he felt guilty despite the fact that he'd just been protecting his own life.

Sometimes he managed to convince himself that it was true. That they were criminals and belonged to prison. That one of them would have killed him otherwise. But when he saw James lying on his hospital bed, not even fighting to recover from his wounds, when he saw Kate's face on the news and heard some cop saying she still was on the run, he wasn't convinced anymore; he was ashamed.

So that's in this state of shame he decided he was gonna look for Kate Austen. One morning, the fifth after the big day, he called the hospital to say he wouldn't come because of personal problems, and then he drove out of town. He knew, unlike the FBI guys who were already searching out of the state, even out of the country, that Kate wasn't far away. He knew she was waiting for an opportunity to get Sawyer out of the hospital; what she didn't know was that Sawyer wasn't in a state to get out. She didn't know he had taken two more bullets five days ago. She didn't know he was lying between life and death.

So he checked out the motels around, one by one, the creepy ones, the dusty ones, the ones forgotten by the cops as by everyone else. The ones who could very well hide a girl on the run. It happened to be always the same thing: he parked his car, entered, asked for any Kate Moss, drove away. He was beginning to doubt she'd stayed by the town when, in the creepiest motel of all, he was answered a certain Kate Moss had been renting room eleven for five days now.

He knocked at the door.

-"Who's that?" came a voice. He recognized hers.

-"I'm a friend of Sawyer's," he lied.

She opened the door and stepped back in surprise, unable to say a word.

-"I'm alone here. No cops, just me, I promise, I..."

She slammed the door in his face; he heard she locked it.

-"I have news from Sawyer," he tried to say calmly.

-"Why should I believe you? Why wouldn't you be manipulating me?"

He was about to say "Trust me" when he realised he couldn't ask someone he'd just betrayed and forced to run away to trust him.

-"All right," he sighed, "keep that locked door between us if you want, I just want you to listen. You're not safe here."

-"Where am I safe? D'you know any safe place for a criminal on the run?! All this happened because of you, and now what? You wanna complete the job? Throw me in the FBI arms?"

-"I can help you, I can offer you a place to stay..."

-"You kiddin' me?!"

-"You won't get Sawyer out of this hospital without my help. Actually, you won't get him anywhere because he's just not in a state for that.

-"What d'you mean?" she asked in a scared voice.

He sighed. But he owned her the truth, the whole truth.

-"He's in a critical state. Coma. We've done everything we could, I personally did my best but now it's up to him. He must think he's lost everything, you, his freedom, and he's just giving up. If he doesn't fight... he could never wake up."

There was a huge noise behind the door. Like she'd collapsed on the floor.

-"Kate?" he worried. "Are you OK?"

-"He... needs... me!" she sobbed. "I... abandoned him!"

God. Jack wanted to reassure her, but it was just uneasy when there was a locked door between them. He was about to ask her open the door when she suddenly burst out. She would already have been outside if he hadn't grabbed her forearm.

-"You won't get in without my help," he simply said.

-"What makes you think I want your help?"

-"You don't; but you need it. If it ain't for you, do it for Sawyer."

-"Do what?"

-"Trust me."

-"Sawyer wouldn't ever have trusted you. He's in this situation because of me and..."

-"Because of me. I denounced you, I betrayed you. I am the bad guy and now I just want a second chance."

She was about to say something but he interrupted her.

-"Please, the three of us need to work together. Sawyer needs you by his side and I need you by his side, or I'm gonna feel guilty for the rest of my life."

-"OK. What do you propose?"

-"You come to my place. The cops won't ever find you there, they wouldn't search there. I'll manage to get you inside of the hospital and you can see him, talk to him. He's aware of everything that happens around him."

He could see her amazing green eyes shining as she thought about it. Accepting help from the man who was responsible for everything? It sounded crazy. Maybe that's why she accepted.

-"Don't you ever ruin my life again," she just warned him.

-"Promise."

So that's how she moved to Jack's, thinking deep inside that it was the most stupid thing she'd ever done. But she did it, for James.

The surgeon's house looked just like him: clean, tidy, perfect. But, if you looked harder, you could notice it was a huge mess inside; Jack's room for example was a typical bachelor room: magazines and flyers mixed with shirts and socks all over the floor, an empty beer can on the desk, the bed undone. And somehow it reassured Kate to see that he was a little bit normal after all.

He showed her the guest room which was, again, clean, tidy and perfect, but she would soon do something about it. She just had to cross the corridor to reach the bathroom; the kitchen and living room were downstairs. It was a big house which sure as hell had been bought for a couple.

The first days, they didn't communicate much. In the morning, Jack was gone before Kate was up, and when he came back he was usually too tired to do anything else but snore on the couch wathcing some stupid TV program. And Kate was safe but felt terribly, completely useless. And guilty.

So, after a week of doing nothing but thinking about what she could do, she got sick of it. Jack was a boring and absent guy, no wonder why his girl or wife or whatever had left him. It was like leaving alone but without the freedom you have when you're actually leaving alone. Kate needed to do something so she did the only thing she could do. She wrote.

She wrote letters, one a day, for James. In the first one, she begged him not to die. In the second, she explained she felt guilty. In the third and fourth, she told everything that had happened since he'd blacked out. Then, when there was nothing left to say about the present, she talked about the past, her past. She told him everything he would have wanted to know, everything she wanted to confess. She told him how she'd killed her stepfather, how she'd been on the run for so many years; and when she had had her whole past written out, she began to write about the future, their future.

Letter after letter, she invented them a life, a happiness, a love. She concentrated on giving a reality to her words, on writing what she knew could have been, maybe would be someday. She never sent the letters, or told Jack to bring them to James, or even told him about them. Once she'd finished a letter, she closed the envelop and put it with the other ones, wrapped in a shirt of James' in the cupboard.

She survived two months with promises of another future. Then frustration overwhelmed her.

-"We need to talk, doctor Shepard."

-"I've already begged you a thousand times to call me Jack..."

-"Whatever. I want to see James, I think I've waited enough. For a month I've listened to your promises, they've been my feed, the blood in my veins, my reason not to give up. I want them to get true now."

-"I've already told you I gotta plan things up!"

-"Yeah, of course, you've _told_ me... you know what? I'm sick of being _told _I'm gonna see him, sick of being _told _everything's gonna be all right! Shut up and do something!!"

He opened his mouth to say something, but then changed his mind and before Kate could realise it he was kissing her passionately, one hand on her waist line and the other one resting against the wall behind her. Immediately the image of Sawyer popped inside her head and confused her mind... His kiss was so gentle and so full of desire she felt like _he _was kissing her...

Jack broke the kiss as brutally as he'd begun it and stared at Kate, and what he saw in her eyes made he feel like there was no more blood running in his veins, that it has suddenly drained away. He saw that he could never have her.

-"You wanted me to act," he said in a broken voice.

She didn't answer.

-"You want to see Sawyer, you want to be with him. OK. And I want to have you, I want to love you, but I can't. Now what? I deal with it! I'm sick of you being so selfish, sick of you not seeing how hard I try to make all this right! You know what? Shut up and be strong!"

There was nothing to add; he turned around and slammed the door behind him.

Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry (etc)!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I didn't update because of... school, other fics, me, teachers, writer's block, me, desire to write something else, english, me, my brothers (always guilty), me... alright the list is long enough so my apologies again and above all thing: ENJOY & REVIEW (you can shout at me for being so late if you want)


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